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Showing posts from 2020

Looking Within as a Projector | Human Design

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So, if you’re a projector (in Human Design) like me, then you may feel what I’m about to say. If you don’t know what the heck I’m talking about then go to www.jovianarchive.com and get your free chart to learn what aura type you are. This knowledge and insight has changed the way I conduct my life-career, love & friendships. Also I want to note that I am not a Human Design Specialist by any means and am only still learning, but am definitely here to share whatever knowledge I do have :) If you want to talk with an educated guide then reach out to Aubrey at Divine Radiance Healing for more. She has been guiding me for almost a year, and wow, I understand myself on a super deep level now (and still learning as I go).
Anyway, if you’re a projector...our auras are piercing and constantly energetically tuned into other people, so often, that we can forget to look within ourselves. The projectors life question is “who are you?” Meaning, every person we come into contact with, we are alre…

Oh Avant-Garden, Dress me in Your Bloom

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Over the past few weeks, I found myself pondering a creative idea for @thatsosofi #flowerchallenge. Then I realized I was super fearful of bringing it to life…. and just like that, my good old friend perfectionism was back. This has always been a battle for me and I was so angry to see her re-emerge with a vengeance. Like an old enemy looking to make up for lost time & strike me when I least expect it. This soft little voice started telling me that whatever I did, wouldn’t be creative enough or unique enough. Then procrastination stepped in to make me “feel better”. He tried to coerce perfectionism by asking her to cut me some slack (which meant to give up on creating). I know procrastinations tricks, so I quickly realized that this was a ploy for me to not try at something I could potentially “fail” at. So, perfectionism & procrastination battled for much too long, until I ALMOST decided to let procrastination win.  And guys, I have done this my whole life. I have given up m…

I am...

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When we strip away all the bullshit, what are we left with? As humans, regardless of how authentically we try to live, we will always build a safety net around us. We all want to look like the best version of ourselves possible. This list of labels we assign ourselves, becomes the facade we hide behind, because knowing ourselves, is one of the more terrifying discoveries we will face. This is our way of trying to give ourselves some sense of who we are & why we’re here…its natural. The descriptive words we use, are a comfortable veil to shield our eyes away from the confusing questions of what our purpose is. And lately, at least for me, that veil no longer is keeping me safe. Comfort, familiarity, distraction —these things, in the wake of quarantine, have been ripped away like a wind storm pulling tree roots from the ground & tossing their remanence, wildly dismembering its' branches. My definition of who I am, is being torn apart, and while it's br…

Boundaries | A Tough Concept in Society

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Over the years I have tried to define what my idea of boundaries are. At some point I even have exclaimed that I didn't like the word “boundary” because it meant that I'm separating myself from being helpful to people. Well, Im here to debunk even my own old belief system.  Being a kind, good, helpful, open person, does not mean that I neglect myself & harm my personal energy system just to accommodate another person. Period. Societally we aren't truly taught boundaries so inevitably we become people-pleasers.
When we were children our parents tell us: “Give ___ a hug/kiss for that present and say thank you!"  Right off the bat no one asks us if we are comfortable with physical touch or expressing gratitude in that way. Parents MEAN WELL... Im not taking away from the lesson of showing thanks for a gesture or a gift. But automatically we are taught that physical touch is something we need to give another person in order to make them feel better.
Then we get older and w…

Reach Out & Touch The Stillness | Self-Portrait Series

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I have been uncovering my creativity more and more during all of this... & admittedly, its getting weird. Then again, I have always been quirky, so I guess Im getting more in touch with my true self. I often feel like I have created a box for myself & I yearn to step outside of it & push myself beyond whatever borders I unconsciously put in place. The other day I was majorly anxious (I have anxiety every day), but this day was particularly tough for some reason. I was so restless & irritable. I realized that in all the stillness going on in the world, I haven't taken enough time to explore my own. So, I dedicated time to a self-portrait project that portrays just that...reaching out & touching the stillness. I wanted my photos to tell a story of: my isolation, feeling trapped, feeling free, my fear, and my peace. Honestly, I have been feeling all of these opposing emotions like a roller coaster, on repeat. So, I open up my vulnerability for you to see & hope…